The Rest at the End of Ourselves

Today I've listened repeatedly to what has to be one of the most beautiful recordings I've ever heard: Mindy Smith and Sola's cover of Antje Duvekot's "Reasonland." (Before you start to feel impressed that I know such obscure singer-songwriters, let me say that I heard this song on a mix CD from Marc Tantillo. Most of my musical "finds" roll downhill from him and Josh Glidden.) If you haven't heard it, the link will take you to a free listen on Grooveshark. Art is always preferable to analysis of art, so if you have to choose between listening to the song or reading this post, listen to the song.

Here are the lyrics for the interested:

In Reasonland the emperor came down

To the water's edge and said, "I don't know where I'm bound

I've got emeralds and rubies sewn into my gown

But I am sadder than the diamonds in my crown

So will you lay me down in a fiddler's cloud

Lay me down to dream

Let my aching head be still, let me surrender to your will

Lay me down and deliver me"

The mighty king came down to the sea

Said, "I may win any battle that I please

I got a hundred-man batallion, they all fall down at my feet

But there’s a songbird who will not sing for me

So will you lay me down in a fiddler's cloud

Lay me down to dream

Let my aching head be still, let me surrender to your will

Lay me down and deliver me

I wanna fly out to your center

I wanna sink down into your gold

I wanna go down without my dagger

I wanna shed these clothes"

The preacher's wife kneeled down by the waves

Said, "For your love and salvation I have prayed

I am a tired tightrope dancer, I wanna go no more this way

Just give me something, a penny for my faith

So will you lay me down in a fiddler's cloud

Lay me down to dream

Let my aching head be still, let me surrender to your will

Lay me down and deliver me

Will you lay me down, won't you lay me down

Lay me down to dream

Let my aching head be still, let me surrender to your will

Lay me down and deliver me"

The song depicts three people at the end of themselves. The emperor has money enough to sew jewels into his clothing, but he can't buy joy. The king has military might enough to defeat all comers, but he can't coerce beauty. The preacher's wife has a reputation of piety, but she has no assurance of God's love. They have wealth, power, and religion, but at the end of themselves, all they really want is rest. In fact, they want a kind of death, a death to their bankrupt existence and a true surrender to the will of another. They're looking for rescue. They've come to the chasm where forward progress stops and only voice can travel. They pray.

Like these pilgrims, we all have to come to the end of ourselves sooner or later. What we really long for can't be bought or forced or faked. We all live east of Eden, and a sword separates us from the home of rest. All our life is striving: we strive after security, we strive after beauty, we strive after an assurance of God's love. And sooner or later, we too must kneel down by the waves and confess that we've come as far as we can, and we can't go as far as we must. We've come up short, and the distance between our ability and our longing must be made up for in grace. Rest must come as a gift, or not at all.

This is a terrifying turn of events for foreigners to the gospel, but for Christians this is the place of provision. In God's kingdom the blessing comes not to the strong and rich, but to the poor in spirit, to the seaside beggars. Grace comes to the humble. We can come to the end of ourselves without fear, because we know that the rest we long for comes not through our striving but through the grace of Christ, who took our burden so we could have his treasure. Jesus meets us at the shore and offers freely joy, beauty, and love that this world can neither offer nor plunder. The pilgrims' prayers are not in vain. For every Christian there is a laying down at the end of our labor. There's a rest at the end of ourselves.

A Thanksgiving Conflation

"Bless the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

(Psalm 103:2-5)

"What shall I render to the LORD

for all his benefits to me?...

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving

and call on the name of the LORD."

(Psalm 116:12, 17)

"The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me."

(Psalm 50:23)

The Psalmist's response to all of God's goodness to him, to God's salvation and care and hearing of prayer, is to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving. My ESV Study Bible notes tell me that this sacrifice of thanksgiving was one of the peace offerings (Lev 7:11-18) God established for his people to create a rhythm of remembrance, a routine of returning thanks to God for all his undeserved gifts. The peace offerings, of which the thanks offering was one, were different from sin and guilt offerings in one important way: the peace offerings were eaten by the offerer. The sin and guilt offerings, at least the portions that weren't burned up, could only be eaten by the priests; they were holy to the Lord. But when the thanksgiving sacrifice was offered, the meat was enjoyed by the offerer, his family, and the needy. As a reminder that God didn't need the offering, as if he was hungry, he returned it to the people. It was, I'm told, a meal enjoyed together in the presence of God, its Provider and Host. The grateful family sat around the Lord's table and received each course as though it had been passed by the invisible hand of their divine benefactor.

Today, as we ourselves gather around tables spread with the bounty of a good God who sends rain and sun on those who don't deserve it, don't let "Thanksgiving" lose its vertical direction. Make room at your table for One more. No matter who rose early this morning and spend hours up to her elbows in turkey, God is the Host of all our meals. He, as he did with the Israelites, invites us to eat in his presence, to bask in his provision, and to return to him a sacrifice of thanksgiving. In light of all his benefits, and supremely his salvation in Christ, how can we do any less?

A Selective History of Provision

When Adam needed food, God had already made some.

When Adam needed a wife, God gave him Eve.

When Abraham needed a son, God gave him Isaac.

When Jacob (that rascal!) was on the run, God gave him flocks and a family.

When there was a famine in the Promised Land, God gave his people a home in Egypt.

When Egypt enslaved them, God set them free.

When they were hungry and thirsty, God gave manna, quail, and water from the rock.

When the people needed a king, God gave them David.

When the people were in exile, God brought them home.

When everyone needed a savior, God gave us Jesus.

When Brett doubted that God was going to take care of his family, that was dumb.

Two Roads Diverged

There are two ways for sin to be covered:

Psalm 32

1Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

5 I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

Either you can cover your sin, concealing it, pretending it hasn't happened and isn't happening, that it isn't so bad and that God doesn't sweat the small stuff, or you can confess it and he can cover it, seeing it, grieving it, and joyfully forgiving it all because of his Son's life, death, and resurrection in our place. On the first road, you'll waste away. On the second, you'll enjoy the happiness of communion with the God who for some reason loves drawing near to those who repeatedly draw back from his best. It's your choice.

Hey, choose life.

The Marvelous Complexity of the Heart of God

The fact that "God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day" (Psalm 7:11) makes it all the more amazing that at the very same time he "is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance" (2 Pet 3:9). Every day, God feels indignation that his name is not more praised and that the world he made perfect is so full of injustice. And every day he withholds his anger, that more may repent and find him to be overflowing with love and mercy. What a God!

Grace, amazing

Tonight at Care Group we were reminiscing about the people and events God used to draw us to himself. He demonstrated the greatness of his power and the creativity of his work in one woman's story particularly. She shared that the medium God used to bring her to clarity about Christ and his work for us was "Jesus Christ Superstar," the early-70's rock opera that presents Judas Iscariot as a tragic figure. A tragic figure! I don't remember the play well, but none of my memories are of a clear explanation of the meaning of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection.

Hearing her story comforted me for two reasons. First, this shows me the strength of God to save and the mighty reach of his grace. When he decides to save, he does so, and he'll use even a misleading (heretical?) musical to do it. His grace shines brightly even from dirty bulbs. And secondly, this encouraged me as a fledgling preacher. I have so much room to grow in expounding Scripture. But I have to think that I can preach the gospel at least as well as Andrew Lloyd Webber, and if God can make Christ known through "Jesus Christ Superstar," he can certainly use me as well!